Every Time I Wipe

Every single time I wipe,

I have to look.

I am terrified to find blood,

I am terrified to lose this baby.

I started writing this months ago,

Nothing has changed.

I’m 32 weeks pregnant,

I still look every single time.

We have a healthy singleton,

But think about the twin we lost

EVERY

SINGLE

DAY.

Even though I feel my baby,

kicking and tumbling like crazy.

I still check.

Miscarriages fucked me up,

I love this baby.